Saturday, 29 September 2012

Dawn Park Patrol Returns!

My dad returns once again with an update to the adventures in the Humber Bridge Country Park!

Before I hand over to him though, there's a Geek and Sundry Google+ hangout taking place tonight to celebrate the launch of season 6 of The Guild.  It's to take place at 3pm Pacific time, which is something like 8 hours behind GMT.  But I'm not sure how summer time affects this.  I've seen a couple of people say the hangout is taking place at 10pm UK time so I'm going to be on for that.  I'm looking forward to seeing who won the community video contest (I know it wasn't me! My effort can be seen here) and basically getting pumped up for the Season 6 launch on Tuesday!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, go watch The Guild.

Over to you dad!


It was a pleasant autumn morning, the sun brought a welcome cheer to cloudy skies, foul weather was alleged to be forthcoming but for now the morning looked good to the eye.

The Dog’s were in attendance as usual, big balls of fluffy loveliness on the outside, and hidden not too deeply within, DOG’S!

Charming beautiful lovely gorgeous cuddly creatures, and also DOG’S!

You could almost forget that they are DOG’S such is their fluffy gorgeous etc-ness – aren’t they Beautiful!?

Indeed they are, and also, they are DOG’S!

One does one’s best to keep long sensitive noses away from erm, things ‘too indelicate’
for the fair readers eye to consider, you know what I mean, animal droppings, rotting animal corpses etc, things which appear all too attractive to a long sensitive nose and almost demand to be sniffed (or worse!)

Yes, we are talking DOG’S here.

DOG’S which despite being fed a luxurious diet and being over weight, nevertheless appear to be starving and which simply MUST devour all manner of impossibly revolting material at any opportunity.

DOG’S apparently (and yes, I’ve looked this up on the internet – it’s true!) will sometimes eat erm ‘droppings’, both other animals waste material and also other dog’s um similar erm, quite, no, don’t think about it.

Despite many theories, No one knows why they do this.

I discourage them intently, I really do, but I can’t be with them 24-7 as they are free to come and go through the dog flap. And to watch their every move whilst out walking you would need eyes in the back of your head.

Be all that as it may, I believe the culprit this time was one or both of two well rotted rabbit corpses which we encounter every day whilst walking.

We have a constant battle. The DOG’S ‘Need’ to stick their noses into these remains, and possibly devour them and I equally need to stop them doing so.

I think that Maeve got to one of the ‘remains’; it was only for seconds but that may have been enough.

Days later Maeve did not want to eat.

Her guts were bubbling and griping. She was not happy.

Silly damn dog.

What you don’t want with a big fluffy gorgeous hairy DOG, is for that DOG to have the screaming shits!

No better love does a man have for his dog, that he trims her (censored description of an unclean posterior) and gives her a bath.

Maeve is now considerably less hairy about the nether regions, and she smells much better too.

For some reason the crazy bird seed droppers were thin on the ground this week and park benches were free from offending material. Fear not, the patrol goes on (weather permitting)

I am thankful for small mercies.

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