Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Flowers are rubbish

What's the deal with flowers?  Why do people like them so much?

In my garden there are two types of plants, which are categorised thusly:
a) ones that grow healthily unaided
b) ones that wilt and die despite regular feeding and watering

Guess what? We want the plants in category b, and not the ones in category a.

So we resort to ever more desperately watering the flowers and herbs that we want, giving them a lovely specially lined hanging basket that protects against the wind and fattening them up on Miracle Gro, in a vain attempt to get them to look one tenth as lively as the massive weed growing out of a crack in the patio.

And then, if we're really lucky and we manage to nurture the frail little flower, to give it a real chance of reaching it's full potential...

My son will jump on it.

eden killing daisies
The little one looking his innocent self whilst murdering a pack of daisies.

But do not fear!  As ever, computers have the solution!

I shall plant flowers around my home in Minecraft!

They don't need watering, they don't die, they don't get eaten by the local animals even, they're just great.
Oh what's this?  Oh... a creeper.  Heading towards my house.  If you're not aware, creepers explode.
 The flowers stood up to the explosion of a creeper about as well as you'd expect.

Sod flowers.  Heavy stone reinforcement is what we need!

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