Sunday, 5 July 2015

Guest post - The Whole Truth

While I'm away on honeymoon, here's a guest post by my dad Graham, about the thoughts he has when... um... sitting.

I ought to give some sort of disclaimer here saying that Sanex is good stuff.

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THE WHOLE TRUTH!


I was pondering the other day, as one may whilst sat quietly in the smallest room of the house, my body was being very 'healthy' at the time (as, 'through the eye of a needle') and becoming somewhat lighter. Such times are a rare opportunity in our busy lives, to stop and stare at the opposite wall, conjure faces in the bath towels, wonder about the meaning of life, etc when something struck me, Sanex, or so the label would have it, is now even more moisturising!

What does that mean?

Sanex, for the uninitiated is 'bubble bath' in some shape or form and whereas it may or may not give the maximum delivery of bubbles, it suggests that it is healthy, pure, good for you and apparently, is even more moisturising.

I guessed that previously it must have been less moisturising than it is now, but now it is better at it. Odd, I thought it was the water which did the moisturising? Water is well known to be amazingly wet, you just try placing a dry object in a bath full of water and... POW! Said object is immediately seriously wet!

So if you can become considerably wet by simply immersing yourself in water how exactly is Sanex now more moisturising?

Now you can't lie in advertising, it's against the law, so by some convoluted sort of reasoning, the makers of this fine bubble bath must be telling the truth, kind of. If I put my hand in water, it will get wet. If the water has bubble bath in it, it will get even wetter!? You could have fooled me, once my hand is wet I would have bet good money that no way could it get any wetter than it already is.

In my imagination the Sanex bottle was now shouting "Now Even Wetter!" at me, although I was struggling to accept that this could be really true.

And then it came to me, oily skin! Ah right!
Phew, that was a relief I can tell you. Clearly the new bubble bath strips the oils from your skin faster and/or more thoroughly than the old bubble bath thereby allowing your skin to 'wet' more completely. The bottle now exultantly proclaimed in its silent way "Now even Wetter - Strips the Oils from your Skin Faster than Ever!"

This I could understand. I broke wind furiously, a clear sign that all was well with the world once more.


Note from Mike: After reading this, I felt the need to research moisturising.  Moisturising means to add or restore moisture to something. Now then, the word moisture has a couple of meanings, both of which talk about liquids, and especially (but not exclusively) water. Therefore I would summarise that it is entirely acceptable to have a moisturiser that adds a liquid to your skin that isn't necessarily just water. Furthermore, hot water removes moisture and oils from your skin, making it dry and scaly.  So a moisturiser which keeps the oils in your skin is a good thing (I think) - I have no idea if the product in question actually does this, or if it strips the oils from your skin, or if it doesn't nothing of the sort, it could simply be that bubble bath is sticky and if you rub it into your armpits it'll stick there for awhile instead of water, which has a tendency to adhere to the rules of gravity and pour off.


I'm not sure what my notes above add, but they sure add something. Now I'm off to make some rice pudding.

Feel free to check out my parents mail order business selling all kinds of weird and wonderful magical goodies at www.facebook.com/RavenMagical 

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