Monday, 7 May 2018

Make Fake News work for you and get tomorrow off work!

This could be you. Well it can't because it's me, but you know what I mean.

Fake news. All we hear about on the media is people talking about "fake news". This news isn't real, but that news is real. How can we tell?

Truth is in the eye of the beholder these days, it seems.

So why not make it work for you?

Here in the UK (and apparently, according to the internet at least, in Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, Bulgaria, Dominica, Ireland, Kazakhstan, Kygryzstan, Lebanon, Malaysia, Montserrat, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Jersey, Guernsey and Alderney, Isle of Man, Sri Lanka, and South Korea) we're just coming to the end of a public holiday. A delightful three-day weekend, which I've spent packing boxes, going to the park twice, trying to get to the pub and failing because it was too busy, and going to the beach and getting covered in sand.

And getting a haircut.

But the weekend is at its end, a return to work for millions of us across the globe is imminent.

Or is it?

If enough of us make the assertion in a co-ordinated manner that tomorrow is actually Monday, and we commit by putting on our social media channels tomorrow morning messages about how it is Monday and a public holiday, I submit that there is every chance that our managers will come to think that it is Monday also, and fail to go in to work themselves, and by the time all of the confusion has been sorted out we've all managed to swing an impressive fourth day to the three day weekend.

A number of phrases are listed below for use on social media, feel free to use or amend as you see fit.

Ah, I love a Monday on a public holiday! Going to sort out the garage today #determined

Really glad no one's at work today, I need a lie in!

It's Bank Holiday Monday, going to get up early and take the kids to the beach before it gets too busy!

It's Monday, it's a holiday, and I'm going to play World of Warcraft ALL DAY!!!!

Does anyone know if Domino's deliver on public holidays? I really don't want to cook today!

Extra marks go to people who tag their bosses in a status, asking them if they fancy going for a beer with it being Monday. A risky strategy, but one that could potentially pay off.

So, share this post, spread the word, and get ready to enjoy a super-extended weekend!

Cheers!


Disclaimer: Don't not go into work, this idea isn't going to work and you'll get in trouble. Plus you have to weigh up, do you really want to not go to a job that you probably actually like, and spend yet another day with your family???

2 comments:

  1. Finally, some real journalism. I see a Pulitzer in your future, or maybe a Nobel, I'm not sure which.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be honest Tim, I'm hoping somebody invents a special award just for me. That seems fitting.

      Delete

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