Saturday, 25 August 2012

Warning: May Contain Spoons

We've been working on my son's speaking recently, as he's a little behind on talking.  He has come on very well and is making lots of noises, but we're trying to get him over the next hurdle from noises to words.

This generally involves an alphabet, and a lot of encouraging and smiling. Saying "Yes, that's a b!" a lot, you can imagine it.

To be fair, he can do some letters quite well.  S is a strong point for him.  Words with "it" as well, he can usually enunciate the "it" part, certainly so it is understandable.

So when his nana had him for a little while the other day, and had a little accident - nothing too severe, nothing to worry about - she, without thinking, emitted a word that can only be described as foul language.

A word which includes an S, and an "it" bit as well.

And our son can now say it.  Thanks! :)

One other thing to mention...

I was in Asda, getting various random bits of household gubbins and food – no alcohol, which to be honest is unusual for me as despite the fact that I can't hold my drink, I do like to keep a little in the house.

I go to the checkout, unload my trolley, and mosey on down to the far end to bag my purchases and to prepare myself for parting with my hard-earned money.

About two-thirds of the way through, the checkout girl stops.
“Have you got ID for this?” she asks. I'm not too surprised as I used to get ID'd quite a bit and although it's less common now, it does occur. I always say the most accurate way to check if someone is underage is to ask them, and then if they burst into a beaming smile, you can be sure that they're overage.
I fish around for my driving license, my brain slowly catching up with me as I show the girl my license.  I haven't bought any alcohol today.

“What am I being ID'd for, anyway?”

“You've bought some cutlery, sir.”

I've bought some cutlery. Was it a meat cleaver? A smaller, but concealable knife? A serrated bread knife, perhaps?


I've bought a spoon.

A ******* spoon!

What am I going to do with a spoon? Gouge out someone's eyeballs? Sneak into an egg and spoon race and beat all the kids? Bop my servant in the middle of the forehead, Basil Fawlty-style?

If I hijack a plane with a spoon, I deserve to keep the plane.

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