Friday, 20 March 2015

A side-effect of the solar eclipse

Today I put forward a groundbreaking scientific theory.

The major sources of gravity for the Earth (apart from the Earth itself) are:
1 - The moon, and;
2 - The sun.

The sun and the moon are strangely linked (in human imagination) - for example, the moon is about 400 times smaller than the sun, but because it is 400 times nearer, they appear to us to be around the same size.  And they need to appear to us to be around the same size, otherwise you wouldn't get the awesome "diamond ring" eclipse pictures like the below:

By kubotake [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Now, we are all well aware of the effects of the moon on the oceans of the Earth - the gravity from the moon causes tides that occur every day, dragging uncounted tons of water backwards and forwards like a ridiculously over the top bidet.

So today, when the sun and the moon were aligned, did their combined pull of gravity have an unexpected effect on bodies of water on the Earth?

Well, one of my colleagues today mentioned that the water closets at work were unusually active today, and my theory is that, because two-thirds of the typical human body is made up of water, the eclipse caused people to egest.  Indeed, studies have shown that gravity has a very real effect upon gastric emptying.

I look forward to being offered Fellowship of the Royal Society as a result of this amazing discovery.  In the meantime, however, it's back to reading more Bill Bryson.

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