Sunday, 28 October 2018

My Day



I've been challenged to write one of these "My Day" posts, which have been doing the rounds.  Typically it's about a hipster-type who spends their day exercising, meditating, squeezing fresh orange juice from cows and doing something odd like having a curried Orangina to keep their energy levels up.

So, here we go.

3am: I wake up and think about the inevitable approach of death. Or biscuits. Biscuits are more likely, really. If I choose to glance at the bedroom door there is every chance that my son is stood there looking at me, and if I make any sign that I am awake he will jump on me. It's a great chance to practice my stealthiness.

3.10am: I fall asleep again.

5am: I wake up by being poked in the eye by a small child. I find this rapidly brings me to complete wakefulness far quicker than the stereotypical "waking up naturally", saving me precious time.

5.10am: I spend the next hour catching up with the world by going on fifteen different social media channels on my phone, one after another. On none of them do I have any notifications.

6.10am: I sit down at my computer for a session of creative writing.

6.25am: I realise that I've spent fifteen minutes looking at a blank Word document whilst playing Words With Friends on my phone. I mean to say that I've been sharpening my English language skills.

6.30am: I ruminate on what food to put in my packed lunch. I find packed lunches far healthier than whatever you can buy, and really gives you chance to include energy boosters like organic fruit, chia seeds, and quinoa.

6.35am: I've packed leftover pizza and a dodgy looking banana.

7.45am: Time to get those vocal chords into action! There's nothing like a good vocal warm up by screaming "GET DRESSED! SOCKS! SHOES!" over and over. I don't worry about the volume because I'm never heard over my sons tablet anyway.

8.30am: At work, full of energy and raring to go.

8.32am: My energy levels are dropping, so I get a vitality boosting bacon and egg sandwich.  I add tomato sauce to help towards my five a day.

10.00am: Someone fetches me a scone.  I always make sure to get a sweet scone (never savory) like dark chocolate and cherry. At this rate I've virtually had all the fruit and vegetables I need for the day.

12.00pm: Time for lunch, and to give my lunch an exciting twist, I grab some extra steps by walking to the chip shop.  Always make sure to add "chip spice" to your chips, the paprika comes with amazing health benefits, such as aiding sleep.

1.00pm: I'm really tired. Time to boost my energy levels with coffee.

1.10pm: More coffee.

1.20pm: More coffee?

1.30pm: EVERYTHING IS FANTASTIC AND AMAZING AND I'M GETTING SO MUCH WORK DONE ITS UNREAL I THINK I'LL HAVE A COFFEE.

5.30pm: Work is over and I spend the drive home unloading my mind whilst eating a Crunchie.

6.20pm: Dinner is served.  I always look for a healthy option such as grilled chicken and rice. Except for Tuesdays because that's when we have pizza.  Whilst eating dinner I watch some Downton Abbey to unwind.

6.25pm: Fall asleep in front of the TV.

7.30pm: Wake up. Rewind the DVD.

8.00pm: On an evening, when the brain is naturally less creative, I relax with a walk.

8.10pm: Funnily enough, whilst on my walk, I appear to find myself stood outside a pub. I do feel that it's so important to support local enterprises.
11.33pm: skweuimcal;c

11.55pm: KEBabs r 'mazing gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

12:40pm: Howw do u work the lock in teh front dorr?????? Askin 4 frend. xc

I hope that the above is of use to you, I am available for the delivery of seminars and workshops at a very reasonable rate on the topic of how to change your life. Not necessarily for the better, that's why my rate is so reasonable :)

3 comments:

  1. I never believed that i will be happy again after much frustration. I have been rejected by my husband after Six(6) years of marriage just because he met another woman and he left me and the kids to suffer. One day when i was reading through the web i stumbled at a post on how chief dr lucky the great spell caster has helped people to restore broken marriages and relationships and curing of diseases. I emailed him immediately to help my situation via: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com He told me not to worry that my husband will return to me begging and shedding tears of forgiveness. I am so happy that my husband actually returned to me in 48 hours after i obeyed the words and instructions of chief dr lucky. contact him today in any of your problems for a lasting solution via: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or call/whats app +2348132777335 Website: http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/  

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a privilege to share this miraculous testimony to the world. I'm Beth Walters from England. My husband divorced me 4 months back and I have been filled with remorse for I didn't know what to do to amend issues with my husband. I searched for help on the internet on how I could get help in my marriage and I discovered great testifiers about Priest Ade who has been progressive with his spells. I got in touch with him and behold, Priest Ade told me that he will prepare a spell for me that will bring back my husband. I was skeptical but I had no other option but to work with him. 2 days later, my husband called me that he's coming back home and from that day till this moment, we have been living peacefully. He is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back and the most surprising thing is that our love is very strong now,every day is happiness and joy. and There is nothing like being with the man you love. I will highly recommend Priest Ade  to anyone one out there who needs help whatsoever. If you have any problem contact Priest Ade, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you!!.  
      ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com or ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com

      Write him on Whats-app +2347059715465
      Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com






      It's a privilege to share this miraculous testimony to the world. I'm Beth Walters from England. My husband divorced me 4 months back and I have been filled with remorse for I didn't know what to do to amend issues with my husband. I searched for help on the internet on how I could get help in my marriage and I discovered great testifiers about Priest Ade who has been progressive with his spells. I got in touch with him and behold, Priest Ade told me that he will prepare a spell for me that will bring back my husband. I was skeptical but I had no other option but to work with him. 2 days later, my husband called me that he's coming back home and from that day till this moment, we have been living peacefully. He is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back and the most surprising thing is that our love is very strong now,every day is happiness and joy. and There is nothing like being with the man you love. I will highly recommend Priest Ade  to anyone one out there who needs help whatsoever. If you have any problem contact Priest Ade, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you!!.  
      ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com or ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com

      Write him on Whats-app +2347059715465
      Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com


      Delete
  2. I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

    ReplyDelete

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